I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
