Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
