Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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