It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They took my balls.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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