After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
