And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
