You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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