? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
