can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Mom said you looked used
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
