I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
