Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Drake has all the answers
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
