do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
