he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
