She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
