Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
