oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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