Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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