How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
