Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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