Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
