He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You're like the curious george of whores
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
