South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
