Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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