you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
