we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
