Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sarcasm needs its own font
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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