alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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