what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
