Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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