I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
