he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
