what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I love having hate sex.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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