omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
