but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
