"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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