he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
