I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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