Your mouth is God's brothel.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
