Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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