I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
