Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
