listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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