oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
