his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
