We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
