He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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