It's like God shit irony all over that family
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
