I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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