so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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