Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
