Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
