fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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